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Comprehensive List of 21 Questions For a New Relationship

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21 Questions For a New Relationship

Have you ever been in a new relationship and wanted to know more about the person you’re with? You want to get to know them better, but don’t necessarily want to ask the same questions that your friends or other couples may have asked. That’s why it’s important to find 21 questions for a new relationship that will help you get to know the person you’re with in a meaningful and interesting way.

Having interesting conversations is key for any relationship, and as your relationship continues, it’s important to find different ways of keeping things interesting. Asking questions is one of the easiest ways to break the ice and get closer. In this article, I’ll share some unique and creative 21 questions that are perfect for a new relationship. If you’re looking for fun ways to connect with someone new or show them how interested you are in getting to know them better, then this guide is for you!

Also Read: 5 Topics To Discuss With Your Boy Crush

What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like?

If you’re considering entering into a new relationship, it’s important to ask yourself the right questions. The 21 questions for a new relationship can help you understand if your potential partner is the right one for you. These questions can also provide a framework for how to create and maintain a healthy relationship.

By asking yourself questions about trust, communication, and respect, you can establish a strong foundation from the start. You should ask questions such as: How do we keep lines of communication open? What expectations do we have of each other? How do I demonstrate respect to my partner? These kinds of inquiries can help you lay out clear expectations and boundaries before your relationship begins in earnest.

You will also want to consider what kind of fun activities you will enjoy together. This might include things like cooking together, going on road trips or planning small trips to interesting places nearby. Asking these 21 questions can be a great opportunity to get to know each other better, so take this time to get creative and explore possibilities!

21 Questions For a New Relationship

What Are Your Values and Beliefs About Relationships?

Relationships are built on the foundation of shared values and beliefs, and the questions you choose to ask when starting a new relationship can be incredibly revealing. Exploring each other’s beliefs can help you understand how each of you view relationships, and how you want yours to develop. Ask questions like:


  • What’s your definition of a healthy relationship?
  • Do you think relationships should be monogamous?
  • How do you feel about communication in relationships?
  • How important is trust for you?
  • What does loyalty mean to you?
  • Are there any deal breakers that could make it hard for us to have a successful relationship?

By asking each other some of these questions, both of you will have a much better idea of where the other stands. This understanding can help you move forward in your relationship without any misunderstandings.

Learn More: How to find a good partner who cares and understands you  

Are There Any Deal Breakers in the Relationship?

It’s important to talk about the things that might be deal breakers for either of you in the relationship. This conversation can be uncomfortable, but it’s important to bring up and figure out early on. After all, if something is a total deal breaker for either of you, then it’s better to discover that now rather than investing time and emotion into a relationship that isn’t going to last.

So, what are some examples of deal breakers? Here are just a few:

  • Religious differences
  • Political differences
  • Significant age gap
  • Not wanting kids
  • Disagreements about marriage or commitment
  • A disagreement on how often they want to see each other

These conversations can be difficult and awkward, but they’re both necessary and help you get an understanding of each other’s boundaries and expectations.

How Do You Manage Conflict in Relationships?

Getting to know your new partner, getting comfortable with them and building trust is a great feeling. But, when it comes to a new relationship, it’s also important to talk about how you both manage conflict.

Alternatives To Arguing

We all know that arguing isn’t the healthiest way to resolve something. So if you and your partner have different opinions, think about the other ways you can handle the situation. Here are some alternatives:

  • Openly discuss why you have different opinions
  • Take time apart so you can both cool down
  • Talk about it when neither of you are too emotional
  • Respect each others’ views without pushing one opinion onto the other person
  • Ask your partner what communication methods and topics work best for them

These alternatives can help you maintain harmony in a new relationship while still allowing both partners to express themselves. Understanding how each other deals with conflicts is essential in building a strong, healthy connection.

How Do You Show Love and Affection Within a Relationship?

When it comes to relationships, how do you show love and affection? This is highly personal, but here are some questions that can help you explore this topic further:

  1. What does love mean to you?
  2. How do you express your love for your partner?
  3. What makes you feel most loved in a relationship?
  4. How do you as a couple show your appreciation for each other?
  5. What personal rituals do have to signify the bond between the two of you?
  6. How often do you express your gratitude and fondness for each other?
  7. What kind of activities make you feel the most connected and intimate with your partner?
  8. Do special words and phrases hold meaning between the two of you that signify or symbolize something special about your shared relationship?
  9. How do physical touch and intimacy factor into showing love for one another in a committed relationship?
  10. Do you have private codes, symbols or symbols of affection that signify something special between the two of you?

These questions provide an opportunity to discover what matters most in terms of expressing love within a relationship, and allows both parties to get a better understanding of how they can meet each other’s needs within their partnership.

How Do You Build Trust Within a Relationship?

The sixth important question for a new relationship is: how do you build trust within a relationship? Building trust is essential for any relationship to thrive, and it takes effort from both parties to nurture it.

Here are some tips to help build trust in your relationship:

  1. Be honest and open with each other – this means not lying or hiding things from one another, even when it’s difficult.
  2. Make sure both of you are on the same page when it comes to your expectations so that there are no surprises down the line.
  3. Listen to each other – this means actively listening and giving each other your full attention.
  4. Be supportive of each other – show appreciation and encouragement during the highs and lows of the relationship, and don’t be judgmental or critical of one another’s decisions or beliefs.
  5. Spend quality time together – this could mean going out on dates, taking trips together or just spending some time cuddling at home.
  6. Have difficult conversations when needed – be sure to talk about topics that might be uncomfortable but are still important in order to remain on the same page as much as possible.
  7. Respect each other’s boundaries – respecting each other’s wishes without questions or complaints helps to build trust and reliability that lies at the very core of a solid foundation for any kind of relationship, romantic or otherwise.

What Are Your Expectations of Each Other Within the Relationship?

It’s important to talk about expectations early on in the relationship. What do you expect from each other, and what is the purpose of your relationship? What are your hopes and dreams for the future?

This is a very important conversation to have as it sets the tone for how you will navigate your relationship. For example, if one of you expects to get married within the next few years, and the other isn’t ready to commit just yet, then this could create an issue down the line.

You may also have expectations that you don’t even realize—like one of you expecting to be given more freedom in the relationship than the other, or disagreeing on when it’s appropriate to meet friends or relatives. These expectations can surface at an later date if they are not discussed at this stage, so it’s important to be open about them from the outset.

It’s also helpful to think about whether there are any deal-breakers for either of you—things that would make one or both of you uncomfortable and ultimately end your relationship. Are there any topics that could be potential triggers for arguments? When it comes down to it, all relationships require compromise and understanding so having open communication about these topics is key in building a successful relationship together.

Are There Any Past Experiences That Might Influence the Current Relationship?

If you really want to get to know someone, you should ask about past experiences that might influence the current relationship. Things like past relationships, heartbreaks, bad experiences, and other emotional baggage can all have an effect on a relationship in the present.

Asking questions about any of these is important because it’s an honest dialog about how your partner has been hurt in the past and how they’re handling it now. In this way, you’ll gain a deeper understanding of who your partner is—what has shaped them and how it affects their current outlook on life.

Here are some examples of questions that can help get to the heart of any past experiences:

  • What did you learn from your first relationship?
  • Has there been someone who hurt you in the past that still affects you today?
  • How have your past relationships made you a better person?
  • What would be your advice for people starting out a new relationship?

How Open Are You to Trying New Things in the Relationship?

It’s important to be on the same page with your partner when it comes to trying new things in the relationship. To get an idea of their openness to participating in a learning experience, you can ask the question: “How open are you to trying new things in the relationship?”

This question can help you both become better partners and can help make sure that you’re both understanding of each other’s wants and needs. Answering this question can also give insight into how your partner feels about exploring new activities, learning, or growth in the relationship.

It’s important to remember that when it comes to relationships, both parties should be open to trying different things so that each person can learn and grow together. This may include activities such as going on a date night, trying out different types of intimacy, or participating in activities outside of your comfort zone. By asking this question, you not only get an idea of how open they are to taking risks and trying new things but also what their comfort level is when it comes to these activities.

What Are Your Long Term Goals for the Relationship?

Good relationships need a bit of direction, so it’s important to talk about long-term goals. It’s not about marriage straight away — it could be about whether you both want to move in together, travel together or have certain expectations from your relationship. Talking about this helps create a shared vision and helps both of you work towards the same goal.

This is an important conversation to have early on, as it gives you a better understanding of each other’s plans for the future and allows for honesty regarding commitments. Asking this also shows that you both have plans and that communication is key — no one should feel taken for granted here.

Here are some questions you can ask when discussing long-term goals:

  • What are your expectations of the relationship in the long run? Where do you see this going?
  • Do you want to get married and/or have children?
  • Are there any major events in our lives or any major decision we must make together in the future?
  • Are there any goals or bucket list items that we would like to achieve together?
  • How do we plan on staying connected during times when one of us has to travel away from home, either temporarily or permanently?

These questions help get an understanding of what each other expects without sounding too demanding. It allows both of you to get clear on each other’s thoughts on commitment and security in the relationship and build trust between yourselves.

Do You Prefer to Talk About Problems or Sweep Them Under the Rug ?

The 11th of the 21 questions you should ask a new relationship is what’s their preferred approach to conflict resolution — do they prefer to talk about problems or sweep them under the rug? This can be a difficult question to answer, but it’s an important one.

Talking about problems in a constructive and open way helps build trust and foster honest communication. On the other hand, sweeping issues under the rug can lead to resentment and unresolved issues that will eventually pop up again in the future.

Getting to know how your partner approaches conflict resolution can help you form an idea of how to handle certain situations, as well as provide insight on how well you can work together as a team when it comes to problem-solving. Here are some examples of types of conflict resolution approaches you may hear during this conversation:

  • Compromising: A balance between accommodating and asserting needs
  • Avoiding: Delaying decisions and not addressing the problem
  • Collaborating: Finding mutual solutions that everyone agrees on
  • Accommodating: Putting aside personal needs in favor of finding a solution that works for everyone
  • Competing: Asserting your own needs over others

By listening carefully and understanding your partner’s approach, you’ll be able to clearly assess whether your styles complement each other or not. Doing so will help lay down important foundations for the relationship in terms of communication, trust, respect and understanding.

How Important Is Communication Within the Relationship to You ?

When it comes to relationships, communication can make or break them. So it’s important to ask your potential partner how important communication is within the relationship. This question can reveal a lot about the person you are considering being in a relationship with.

Communication is not just about talking, but also about listening. Asking this question will give you insight into how your potential partner views communication within the relationship. Do they think it’s crucial for two people to be able to communicate openly and honestly? Or do they think that communication is less important than other things like trust and affection?

It’s important to have an understanding of one another’s needs and expectations when it comes to communication in a relationship. Knowing what is important to each other can help avoid future disagreements, establish common ground, strengthen your connection, and ensure a healthy relationship dynamic. Additionally, being able to communicate openly and honestly with one another can help both of you feel heard and understood – essential for any successful relationship!

Is There Anything From Your Past That Might Affect Your Present Behavior ?

Do you ever feel like your past experiences can catch up to you and affect your current relationships? It’s normal to think this way, so ask your partner if there’s anything from their past that might still be affecting them. From unresolved arguments with their parents, to a traumatic experience—it can be helpful to get a better understanding of why your partner might react the way they do in certain situations.

It’s important to make sure that conversations about the past are productive and not used as an opportunity for blame or criticism. It’s a chance for both of you to communicate and grow together, so talk about it openly and with respect. Here are some questions you can ask:

  • What kind of relationships did you have growing up with your family?
  • Have there been any events from your life that have deeply affected how you interact with people?
  • Is there anything from the past that you’ve not had the chance to properly process or work through?
  • How have these experiences shaped who you are today?

What Are Some Topics That Make You Uncomfortable Discussing ?

Talking about our feelings can be tough, but it’s an important part of a relationship. So when it comes to topics that make you uncomfortable discussing, it’s important to be honest and forthcoming with your partner. Doing so will help build trust and lay the basis for a strong relationship.

Here are some topics that you might want to avoid discussing with your new partner for now:

  1. Don’t discuss your past relationships
  2. Your finances
  3. Avoid talking about your family drama
  4. Religion or politics
  5. Any unresolved conflicts between yourself and your partner
  6. Don’t discuss any issues with addiction or mental health
  7. Any embarrassing stories about yourself or others
  8. Your work worries or stressors
  9. Anything related to your sexual history
  10. Complaining about friends or coworkers
  11. 11. Anything related to health issues like weight, dieting, etc.
  12. You should also avoid anything that might seem intimidating or threatening.
  13. Anything to do with marriage or children.
  14. Topics related to gender equality or sexism

By recognizing these topics ahead of time and finding other ways to connect on a deeper level, you can ensure that you both feel comfortable discussing all sorts of topics in the future—even the tough ones!

Are you close with your family?

It’s important to understand how a person was raised, and can reflect the kind of partner they’ll be. Do you feel like you’re part of a supportive and loving family, or were you raised in a more distant environment? Is there anything about your upbringing that’s still relevant in how you approach relationships today? These are all valid questions that can provide insight into how someone will interact with you in a relationship.

Knowing about someone’s family can also give you insight into their values, and the things they prioritize. Your beliefs and opinions might come from your family as well, so discussing this topic might provide interesting conversation.

Asking someone questions about their family also shows that you care enough to learn more about them—it’s an opportunity to express interest and build trust with them.


Asking these 21 questions for a new relationship can really help you learn a lot about a potential partner, and help you decide if you want to move forward with them. It may feel a bit intrusive at first, but if you can open up to one another and keep the dialog going, you will have a better understanding of each other in no time.

These questions can seem a bit daunting, but they can be fun, too. All it takes is respect and being open to each other’s answers. There is no right or wrong answer, so don’t feel pressured to be perfect. Just relax, be yourself and enjoy getting to know your potential partner.


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