Is it bad for a girl to ask a guy out?
The following are reasons why girls have equal rights to ask a guy out.
“couldn’t go for the upgraded class again. Everything is going well.
I want to tell you something though, there’s an issue bothering me.
I should be ashamed saying this right? But I’m telling you cos you’re my bestie.
I’m crushing on this guy in my office He is the customer care representative for our department.
We talk frequently, as just friends though, and I’ve learned during some of our conversations that he is single too.
I’m having love feelings for him but I’m pretending I’m okay with our being “just friends”, as a lady I’m not supposed to say my feelings first right? If only I was the guy here I’ll say.
I don’t know if I should keep suppressing the feelings, or is it bad for a lady to ask a guy out?”
“Feelings” for what it is, is supposed to be expressed by anyone irrespective of gender right?.
That however seems not to be very much the case as in various societies today, more commonly in underdeveloped countries that haven’t seen as much exposure as their developed counterparts.
it seems an oddity, more or less a taboo to have a lady ask a guy out or simply let him know of her romantic feelings for him when he hasn’t told her of his for her yet.
Here it has become a duty attributed solely to the masculine gender to profess amorous feelings first, with the females only on the responding end, which has even prompted some to term the act of a girl asking a guy out a “role reversal”.
As a result of this, guys are at liberty of going for whichever girl they want, while a lady just seats at the other end.
though she might have a guy she likes already, has to wait and hope on whichever guy comes.
But the question here is “is it a bad thing for a lady to ask a guy out?
Well, let’s walk through the topic together.
SOME REASONS WHY LADIES DON’T ASK MEN OUT
Reasons, why ladies don’t ask men out, include – though are not limited to – the following, arranged in order of highest significance according to research conducted on the issue.
1. SOCIETAL PERCEPTION
Undoubtedly, the most significant reason why ladies don’t ask men out is societal perception.
As it’s known, people do things based on the way they are generally acceptable in society, and there is therefore a plethora of societal influences on individual decisions and actions.
Most girls have had guys they liked and who probably would have liked them back, but because their societies wouldn’t pardon they’re asking them out, they ended up not expressing their liking.
which possibly has stalled many of what could have eventually turned out to be sound relationships.
Results from recent research have also shown that a high percentage of ladies who wish they could express their feelings first towards a guy they like have a “societal point of view” as their major hindrance.
They wouldn’t ask a guy out because it simply doesn’t conform with the norms of their society but would rather be a thing to be ashamed about.
It then becomes apparent that this truly is the major reason why ladies don’t ask guys out, with other reasons only coming behind.
I’ll suggest ways to go about subsequent reasons but this one reason however is one we can do little or nothing to bring an immediate change to.
so here we’ll just have to wait and watch civilization take its course in effecting this change in society. We’ll see.!
2. FEAR OF BEING CALLED “CHEAP”
It’s become quite a common practice for some guys to assess a lady with the dumb scale of how easy or hard she is to be gotten.
Some see girls who agree quite easily as “cheap”, while the ones who give some tough time before finally agreeing or even ending up not agreeing at all as being of higher placing.
probably judging by the saying that “no good thing comes easily”.
This ideology is not always valid though and might as well be fallacious in this issue.
But anyway, if a lady is seen as “cheap” for agreeing to a guy easily, it can now be imagined how much worse will be seen of her if she’s the one doing the actual asking out.
I understand the fear here, I do, but on a contrary, an antidote could be coming from a standpoint of good understanding and maturity.
A guy with a high level of maturity and exposure would agree that a lady expressing her feelings for him is neither a measure of her “being cheap” nor something to make her feel ashamed about.
A lady might agree to a guy easily simply because she likes him too and sees no reason denying herself what she wants after all.
In the same vein she could ask him out if she likes and wants him, there should be no big deal in that.
However even while I think that as a lady, you could ask a guy out, you might want to very importantly, put into consideration first his level of maturity and understanding.
It’ll go a long way in determining if her asking him out will be a good move.
3. FEAR OF BEING TURNED DOWN
Just like the random guy will be if a lady turns him down, a lady too is concerned about being rejected by a guy if she asks him out.
This will be to her particularly very shaming of her gender, hence a reason why she’ll prefer to stow her gun than shoot her shot.
After all who wants to be turned down? Nobody.
Naturally, it’ll be more of a big deal to a lady being turned down by a guy than it’ll be vice versa because the feminine gender is expected to be a more reserved and somewhat magnificent gender, attributed to it a certain prestige.
Therefore, with this apparent amour propre that goes with being female, a fear of being turned down by a male becomes another reason why a lady wouldn’t ask a guy out.
But truly, while you might have this fear, you should also know that if you get turned down by a guy, the guy just probably wants something different.
And you don’t want to date him anyway because you’ll spend a massive part of the relationship convincing him to like your brand of you, and that’s very exhausting.
You might ask a guy out and he’ll say “NO” in reply, but that’s as bad as it’ll get, and guess what, you’ll still be fine.
A whole lot of dudes have been told “NOs” since the beginning of the noble act of dating and they too were fine, not much of a big deal.
It could be thought of in this way.
Taking a typical African home for example here, here comes the age and stage when mothers start to tutor their daughters more on life about what to expect from and how to go about the opposite sex.
In most of these cases, mothers will tell their daughters that guys will like them and start to come seeking an amorous relationship whatsoever.
These mothers make their daughters know that these guys are coming because of some love for or interest in them.
however, they tend to never mention to them that they too might like some guys along the line and also have a right to express their feelings to them, that part gets concealed.
These females then tend to grow with the belief that the work of expressing love feelings first is a duty exclusive to the masculine gender while they (as females) just have to sit and wait and hope on the replying end.
5. FEMINISM AND GENDER EQUALITY MIGHT POSSIBLY BRING SOME CHANGE.
The current advocacy that both sexes be equal seems to be gaining prominence and inadvertently spreading its way across societies.
One can expect that should it finally take full effect, the females then having a stronger voice in the society, will get more liberal in their actions and also expressions – which will also include that of love.
This means that amidst other changes, they’ll likely be at more liberty to ask a guy they like out.
It’s worthy of note by the way that this advocacy of “gender equality” is seemingly progressive.
It has gained a considerable level of acceptance in many societies, most especially the western world and is also gradually doing the same in the African society – which will however be one of its toughest nuts to crack due to its being deeply rooted in a mostly patriarchal tradition.
But anyway, the actualization of ladies asking guys out here depends on the success of this movement, and if it does truly get successful, we might see more ladies ask guys out.